Friday — Finding My Way Back — To Loving Me

Happy Friday~*

O.K. Stop…… I am pushing the RESET button!

WARNING!!! Early morning rants & raves  & random thoughts!

So, Life happened & major changes happened. Taking care of my Mother in Law and having her in my home is a lot more emotional and a lot more work than I had thought. Not that I thought it would be easy, but I really didn’t “know” what it would be like, until it happened…….

If you don’t know, I just went through a super MAJOR life change within a week! Pretty much since the 1st my Mother in Law (from only a mile away,) had been in and out of the hospital with Liver Failure, until this last time where she was vomiting blood. Which was bad, they call it end stage Liver Failure, because her liver just not functioning and she is bloated like having twins from a really tiny 64 year old lady. Well, Friday night Bother and Sister in law (who live 5 min away) decided that she was moving in with us. And, out of the hose she could Alcohol and lived with a lady who is a pill popper. Well, I anticipated a couple days to get house at least cleaned up and at least started clearing to make room for her. Nope, Saturday morning Brother in Law calls says, “we are doing this now.” If you already heard this story I apologize(It is 3am after all.) Well, honestly anyone “just stopping by and being in my house” is something of my re-occurring nightmares. Much less a Bro in Law who is “judgy” and hasn’t been in my home in years even though though they live close. My home was never “clean” enough for them. In my heart it was never “clean enough” for me, I just didn’t know where to begin with clutter. And, cleaning and keeping it clean. I’m a “Stash N Dash” kind of girl! which never solved the problem, just created more problems.

Anyways, long story short, (lol) my brother in law, and husband cleaned out two of my STASH rooms while I worked on the rest of the house Saturday + The garage to get ready to my MIL’s crap. It took a few dump trips and god knows what they got rid of, but as far as my New Year’s Resolution of getting organized and keeping the house clean…. I got a huge jump start. As mentioned before I am going through a kind of clutter program, 8 weeks using a Feng Shui way of getting rid of clutter for good, dealing with emotions, holistic healing, and space clearing and creating more energy, not just in the home, but in general. It’s been one of my favorite websites and email news letters (not fitness related…but def wellness related,)for over a year, and I went through The Artist Way Book with her Group. Dana Claudat whose website, I swear, The Universe guided me to over a year ago, has been a life changer. The Tao of Dana, has been my inspiration for so many things. I knew the second I found the website that I had been searching for this for years.

Last few days, besides being busy, I am physically and mentally exhausted. I am not used to having someone around all the time, so I haven’t been getting my workouts in at home even or meeting my friends at the gym. I got off track on my detox that I was doing and basically… quit taking time for myself. I didn’t give up, LIFE just happened, now it’s time to move forward. Between taking care of my Mother in Law and trying to keep up on what was already done to the house, there have been nurses in and out, physical therapists etc. I’ve been trying to keep up on school work and just maintain the house from what has already been done. Well, I still have lots and lots and O.K. LOTS of work to do to the house so it’s not so much damn work all the time. My closets, drawers, and some other rooms, I get to work on now, at my own pace and get back to doing The clutter program, Catalyst Camp, the way I wanted to, on MY terms!

Love-Yourself-First

But, first I have to get back to some MAJOR Self-Love, Self-Care, and putting ME first. Because. quite honestly, I got burnt out and drained emotionally. This is where……. I PUSH THE RESET BUTTON!

First, getting off-track with MY FAVORITE challenge of every New Year, (basically a real food detox,) The Resolution Challenge, from For The Glow, felt really defeating for me to give in and give up. Back and forth to the hospital, all my food prep was going bad and eating out started happening and I’m not going to beat myself up over this, however, I am going to re-start!

Ingesting “junk” in my body and not getting my workouts in, is simply not an option, I had already gained winter weight. So, now this is MY TIME to prioritize and get back to some great Self-Love and start treating MY Body like the temple it is. Getting more sleep, getting my ME TIME, Meditation, writing in my journal, and striking a balance in my body, home, and everything in my life is now TOP priority. I need to take care of ME in order to care for others.

I have everything thing I need.

I have the desire.

I have determination.

I have the resources.

I HAVE the time.

I don’t think I can, I KNOW I can.

Motivational_fitness_quotes_3

YES! So, let the clearing begin, from my insides to my outsides.

It’s time for me. It’s time to strike a balance in all areas of my life!

It’s time to DETOX my life. I had a set back with all the super craziness, now I am friggin READY!

 

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9 Comments

  1. I’m still praying for you that everything works out well. I can’t imagine how stressful this is, that your in-laws would give you this responsibility to care for their mom but I hope you get a good balance with taking time for you too.
    Hope the relationships get better all around

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